Have you gotten to the point where you’ve said, “I’m done people-pleasing; I want to be me”? Or do you feel stuck in a world of trying to be perfect for others? You keep up with everyone except yourself. Let this be the year you live authentically and find your true joy. Start saying “no” more to the things you don’t want to do.
I learned something long ago from my dear friend and life coach Laura Reichert, CEO at Triangle Life Coaching: People care A LOT LESS than you think. We live in a world where we are all self-consumed, so stop wasting energy on what others think; they aren’t paying that much attention. And if they are, that’s an internal self-belief they’re dealing with.
Being authentic is showing your true personality and character, and showing the world who you really are. This is scary, I get it! But it’s 2023, and it’s time for you to free yourself of what others think. Just be you! This goes for all ages. Especially our young minds who are truly discovering themselves. Honestly, self-discovery is ongoing regardless of your age.
I’ve had people tell me I was living my best life, and I am. A lot of that comes from not being scared to be myself (being silly), expressing gratitude daily (this is important), and accepting not everyone is going to like you (this one was hard for me). Like all of us, I’m still a work in progress. Honestly, some days I fail miserably by overcommitting my schedule trying to people-please or because of the fear of missing out. But today, let’s promise to make living authentically a priority in our lives. Some days you may miss the mark, but never stop making authenticity your priority.
Erica DeLong with Laura Reichert, founder of Triangle Life Coaching
I reached out to Life Coach Laura, who often joins The Erica Show, for tangible tips on how we can start showing the world the real you, starting today:
- Know your values. What’s important to you? Make a list of every quality you think is important for a person to have. Now, put that list in order. What are your five top values? When you know your values, the authentic choice in any situation is more obvious.
- Stop doing things you don’t want to do. You still need to pay your bills and the basics of life. However, you don’t have to sign your kids up for every sport to prove you’re a good parent, drive your neighbor to the airport, or take care of your co-worker’s dog. If something is too disagreeable for you, just say “no.”
- Do what you want to do. You can spend your time how you please. You don’t need a grand excuse or proof that you’re doing something noble on a cosmic level. The fact that you want to do it is a good enough reason. It’s important not to hurt anyone, including yourself, but feel free to dance in your front yard, or wear white after Labor Day.
- Keep an open mind. When your thinking is very rigid, you limit yourself and prevent your true self from shining through. Preconceived notions are prisons that block you from being authentic. Learn how to experience the world from a variety of perspectives.
- Trust your intuition. When you ignore your hunches, you feel out of sorts. Trust your instincts. They’ll let you know when you’re not being genuine.
- Be self-ware. You can’t be authentic if you lack self-awareness. Notice how you feel. Ask yourself, “What do I need at this moment? How can I meet that need?” If you ignore your emotions, you can’t be self-aware.
- Practice boldness. The biggest reason for a lack of authenticity is timidity. We want to say and do certain things, but we’re uncomfortable standing out. We feel vulnerable and exposed. A little discomfort never killed anyone, and there’s so much to be gained by being bold. Give it a try.
- Openly share your opinion. Tell others what you think or how you feel about something. Of course, you’ll want to be tactful so you remain considerate of the feelings of those around you.
- Avoid perfectionism. Trying to be perfect hugely limits your natural personality and expression. Avoiding mistakes and imperfection is a recipe for inauthenticity.
Y’all, life is short! It doesn’t make sense to pretend to be someone else. Authenticity requires courage and dealing with discomfort. But if you want to live your life to the fullest, authenticity is a must! I would love to connect with you to hear how the progress is going, or if you’re finally making the commitment to live life as YOU! Reach out anytime @EricaDeLong
You can also always reach out to Life Coach Laura at trianglelifecoaching.com.
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Great article! Laura’s advice is so liberating and useful. Thanks for sharing Erica!
Thank you Erica. Great advise!